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He could barely breathe without stabbing pain in his mouth.
And then, in April, Andrew was proclaimed “cancer free!
After several online conversations and a few more chance encounters while I interned at the White House, we finally managed to find some time to go out for dinner.
We quickly found that we had far more in common than our transgender history — no doubt an important component of our identities, but still only one part.
Both of us had always wanted a fall wedding; the colors, the temperatures, and, for a D. couple, the lack of humidity were exactly what we wanted and needed.
On Thursday, August 14th, the third full day of Andrew’s second stay at our local hospital (and two weeks before he was supposed to start treatment) one doctor destroyed all our hopes.“I’m saying you might not make it to treatment,” the doctor said.
” Andy asked, his face as white as the Wisconsin snow he may never see again.“Yes,” the doctor continued and then paused. Let me kill it.” He lifted his hands, ready to smack the fly to death. I wanted to scream at the doctor’s coldness, but I was stunned into silence by both the news and the indifference with which it was delivered.
After 45 seconds, which naturally felt like an hour, Andy finally broke the silence and said to the doctor, “nice job.”The doctor instructed us that one of Andy’s lungs was failing at a rapid rate.
Did Andy have two weeks left or was his rapid decline merely a temporary problem? I’m not ready for this ‘A Walk To Remember’ shit.” He had been fighting to live, but now it seemed he was merely fighting for a year.Those were the first words I heard as I walked into Andy’s hospital room.As I came around the corner, I saw the look on his face.“So, you think I only have two weeks? He seemed to be deep in concentration.“Hold on, there’s a fly. The doctor paused again, saying “hold on, let me pick it up.” He slowly bent over, lifted the fly’s body, and threw it in the trash.We began to talk about our future, believing it stretched far beyond anything we could imagine.Our relationship took on a whole new dimension when Andrew was diagnosed with oral cancer in September of 2013. I thought and hoped the succeeding few months would be the toughest we’d have to endure for quite some time.
To put you on a respirator you will also need to be sedated, and, given your condition, you will likely never wake up.”Moments later, another doctor came in and apologized profusely.