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It’s a small comfort to know that if you end up venturing into a date that’s a total waste of time, a hilarious mismatch, or ends horrifically, you’ll automatically be the most interesting person at brunch the next weekend.
And to let you know that you’re not alone out there, here are a few terrible (read: entertaining as hell) tales from some real women who spilled the gory details of funniest and weirdest first dates.
I guess I drunkenly gave my number to a random guy at a party who happened to have the same name as this cute guy in my architecture class.
It was super embarrassing but I made myself stick it out with a smile until the date ended.” –Cassie, 29, Boston “I was on a date with a handsome guy and it was going well until he started getting very handsy and I think maybe even tried to slip something in my drink—though this detail is a bit unclear in my memory—but needless to say, his behavior made me uncomfortable.
When I showed up to the bar he’d chosen, he was already pretty plastered. Finally, I managed to get small talk going and it came up that I have a short list of things that make me instantly not trust someone: If you don’t like pizza; if you wear socks to bed every night; if a mustache is your only facial hair; and if you don’t like dogs.
Then he said, ‘Would this be a bad time to mention I hate dogs? This isn’t going to work.’ And I got up and left.” –Cynthia, 26, Brooklyn “I went on a random Tinder date with a guy whom I had little to no chat with beforehand.
We spent the first hour date catching up, and then all of a sudden he got really serious and started taking me through his murky family health history: diabetes, cancer alcoholism, and mental illnesses of all kinds.
He spent all night chain-smoking, getting me very drunk, and then lunged in for a kiss before hopping on a bus home.
I told him I was going to the bathroom and instead got a cab home.
20 minutes later, he called and asked if I was OK because I’d been in the bathroom for awhile.
He was a high school music teacher and I’d had painted him in my mind as an altruistic man of musical theory.
I showed up and found myself face-to-face with a version of the man who was ten years older and twenty pounds heavier than his pictures.